0 for 1

Yesterday was the first day home, alone. I think I completely was defeated by the whole thing. I did well until about 4pm. R broke the tv so the old tv was moved upstairs. Well it wasn't connected to the vcr, so Becks couldn't watch Thomas the Train. For him that was a huge catastrophe, and I couldn't get the vcr connected. There was a lot of crying. Finally I left the room and went to my bed to cry. I'm mad at you, why do you just get to pack a leave? We were supposed to be partners!

Sydnee came into the room and comforted me. Am I a bad mother that my 5 year old becomes the sensible one? The one who calms everyone down? She was so sweet. Earlier she vacuumed the basement so I would feel happy. I am so grateful for her and her love, but I feel guilty that she is more stable than I am. Am I making her grow up too fast? She fills in the other parent and partner role? I want her to be a little girl, not feel that responsibility. Today is a new day, we're trying again.

Thank goodness for conference.....

Fear and Faith cannot exist together!


K